Monday, May 10, 2010

Christ like [to the tune of thug life]

So this dork I work with [we'll call him Jack] just got a totally rad tattoo. He got CHRIST LIKE tattooed on his forearms. Christ on one, Like on the other. This guy is a total meathead/jock, so the forearms are the perfect place as he spends a ton of time with his beefy arms folded in front of his chest. Gross.

Anyway, the tattoo[s] really bother me. For several reasons:

A) BLASPHEMY. I'm down for making fun of just about everything, religion especially, but seriously and permanently comparing yourself to the [alleged] son of God? Come on man, that's too much. You'll never be that good.

B) Jack is not a good person. Here's a little history lesson: He and his wife were both in the Navy together. She received an honorable discharge on medical grounds PLUS early retirement as it turns out she has bum ticker. She underwent several open heart surgeries. They had a couple of kids. Jack stayed in the Navy. He then proceeded to cheat on his wife several times.

C) In between fucking other women and his own wife, Jack got into juicing. Unfortunately Uncle Sam found out and got pretty pissed. They threw him out and gave him a dishonorable discharge and to make things even better, our friend Jack rolled over on the seventeen other people that he was juicing with. Nice.

So now Jack has turned himself over to Christ. He also 'hates faggots', and constantly confuses the developmentally disabled adults we work with by filling their heads with religious rhetoric and bullshit. One time I called him on it and I'm pretty sure he flexed his muscles at me.

Back when Dorian was pregnant we had this conversation:

Jack: "So, your wife is knocked up, huh?"

Me: "Yes."

Jack: "AWESOME! Jesus really hooked you up on that one!"

Me: "What?"

In MORE boring news I have given up on maintaining my beard. I have taken to blow drying and brushing it after the shower as it is already so long that that sort of behavior is warranted. It's bushy and curly and I want it to be huge. Huger. The hugest. Dorian doesn't, but too bad.


  1. The use of anabolic steroids.

    I'm pretty sure he's still using. He's either got a horrible temper, or 'roid rage. I'm inclined to go with the latter. The guy yells at our clients all the time.

    Not only does he yell, but he postures like he's ready to fight them. It's fucking crazy.

  2. That guy sounds like such a douchebag. Do you tell him that?
    He's a dorky meathead jock?

  3. I've made it clear that I dislike him a whole bunch. He mopes around me now. It's annoying.

    He's a total brobot.